Growing Up With Mei Phing

Mei Phing made growing up with her an easy and enjoyable task interspersed with lots of laughter and love. She loved life, her family and friends and was passionate about her work. If she decides that a challenge was worth her while, she would give it her best shot and be successful at it. This was the motto she lived her life up till her departure on Dec 28 2005.

She was brave and never once complained about her sufferings during those 2 fateful weeks at the hospital. Physically she’s gone but everyday, every hour, every minute and every second she is very much alive in my heart.

My family and I are deeply touched by the number of people who reached out to console us and extended their assistance in one way or another. We were brought together by one single motive and that is our love for Mei Phing. I take comfort in the fact that my daughter had touched so many lives and had brought joy to so many people during her 30 years with us. I also want to thank everyone who had been there for Mei Phing and I am certain the love she had received helped shaped her character and attitudes towards life.

Her achievements in the academics as well as in the sports arena were many but I think everyone she’s met will agree that her greatest achievement was herself. Who she chose to be and how she chose to live her life. She’s caring, sincere and always ready to lend a helping hand, always putting other’s need before her own. I worried that Mei Phing will get hurt ridding around on her panther or rushing off to lend her friend moral support from a drunken father. I worried that she may catch a cold or that she does not eat enough and god knows how many other irrational worries a mother could possibly have. I swore that I would never outlive my children for I did not think I could survive the pain. So much for my plans for I was not given a choice in this matter.

Mei Phing’s at peace and I know she would want us all to be happy. Guess what, life goes on regardless. No, I don’t even have the luxury of losing my sanity and so be oblivious to the pain. There are moments when I want to scream and punch something, moments when I can’t believe that she’s really gone, moments when I think this is all a dream. I want very much to push these thoughts away and pretend that everything is okay that the world is still the same and in many ways it is except that there is an angel missing from my life. I will continue to miss my angel years from now and maybe I will be braver then and won’t cry as much but for now I will allow myself to grieve my lose and wallow in self pity and be miserable. For this too I don’t have a choice. It is just too hard to think of what life will be like without my little girl to grow old with…..