I woke up sobbing this morning... triggered by what you said to CS in my dream.
Try as I may, it still escapes my consciousness what it was you were trying to get him to do. All I know is that it has something to do with his studies. You were trying to coach or guide him in the right direction and both CS and I knew it. But somehow he is slow in responding and I may have something to do with it. You repeated it several times telling him that if he did as told, you would never bother him again.
"I will never bother you again".... was embedded in my waking thoughts. The realization that you were not here was so overwhelming that I just burst out crying. As wakefulness begun to set in, my pragmatic self took over. I searched to remember your message but without success.
Your brother's interview for his PhD application is scheduled for Oct 22 and I am thinking that you may be trying to get something across. We are very proud of him and I am sure you are too. Only 5 were short listed out of more than 30 applicants.
What could the message in my dream be? Was there one? Will you please come back tonight and tell me....?
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hope
What is wholesomeness without modesty and respectability, fulfillment without dignity and respect?
What is giving without generosity and meaning, happiness without contentment and joy?
What is life without passion and excitement, love without sacrifice and surrender?
And so many drift aimless, stumbling blindly in search of what they know not
Theory and reality co-mingled and entwined, unraveling slowly but only for a few
The lessons in life are bitter sweet, the path is rock-strewn and the direction is uncertain
But surely for the few who perseveres, faith abound bidding farewell to despair
It is an imperfect world and by decree a flawed existence and not by choice
And so we call on Hope and Sanguinity to lend a helping hand, to shed some light at the end of the tunnel
The coming of the dawn brings sunshine or so the expectation, overcoming Anguish and Misery
But there is no guarantee, only faith and a commitment to stay the path with the hand fate has dealt
And in the end, find solace in the conviction that life is precious and to be cherished
What is giving without generosity and meaning, happiness without contentment and joy?
What is life without passion and excitement, love without sacrifice and surrender?
And so many drift aimless, stumbling blindly in search of what they know not
Theory and reality co-mingled and entwined, unraveling slowly but only for a few
The lessons in life are bitter sweet, the path is rock-strewn and the direction is uncertain
But surely for the few who perseveres, faith abound bidding farewell to despair
It is an imperfect world and by decree a flawed existence and not by choice
And so we call on Hope and Sanguinity to lend a helping hand, to shed some light at the end of the tunnel
The coming of the dawn brings sunshine or so the expectation, overcoming Anguish and Misery
But there is no guarantee, only faith and a commitment to stay the path with the hand fate has dealt
And in the end, find solace in the conviction that life is precious and to be cherished
Monday, September 15, 2008
Happy Birthday from A.Choo Choo
I want to wish you a happy birthday. I miss you.
Work has been crazy and we've been firefighting all day but I was always thinking about you. Tried calling mum but the phone was engaged. I'll try again tomorrow.
ACC
Work has been crazy and we've been firefighting all day but I was always thinking about you. Tried calling mum but the phone was engaged. I'll try again tomorrow.
ACC
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Happy birthday
We raised our glasses last night
And wished you happy birthday
You would have been thirty three
Today
How can we ever stop wondering
What it would have been like
If you were here
Eating your mother's prawn mee
By the bowls
Drinking the best Shiraz your mother could buy
Why can't we comprehend
The emptiness of your absence
Why can't we settle
Our nights into a dreamless sleep
And move through each moment, each day, each year
Seamlessly
Without hungering for your smile
Without weeping for your touch
And wished you happy birthday
You would have been thirty three
Today
How can we ever stop wondering
What it would have been like
If you were here
Eating your mother's prawn mee
By the bowls
Drinking the best Shiraz your mother could buy
Why can't we comprehend
The emptiness of your absence
Why can't we settle
Our nights into a dreamless sleep
And move through each moment, each day, each year
Seamlessly
Without hungering for your smile
Without weeping for your touch
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Looking to this Day!
http://meiphingsep151975todec282005.shutterfly.com/
As your birthday draws closer, the feeling of hollowness and facing a world without you increases in magnitude. I don't want to be sad, I don't want to grief and I know you want for me to be happy. I think I've achieved happiness to a certain extend or at least on the surface. I go through the mechanics of living. I do enjoy the company of friends and the various activities that keep me challenged and engaged. But underneath it all, the sadness remains.. Lately I've started thinking about happiness and what that means. Quite amazingly, there are quite a few definitions of happiness. One especially struck a cord with my own philosophy and that of the way you've lived your life. Here’s a toast to life, the way it should be lived… And I will do my best to live every second like it was my last one…
“Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn! Look to this Day! For it is Life, the very Life of Life. In its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your Existence. The Bliss of Growth, The Glory of Action, The Splendor of Beauty; For Yesterday is but a Dream, And To-morrow is only a Vision; But To-day well lived makes Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness, And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope. Look well therefore to this Day! Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!”
As your birthday draws closer, the feeling of hollowness and facing a world without you increases in magnitude. I don't want to be sad, I don't want to grief and I know you want for me to be happy. I think I've achieved happiness to a certain extend or at least on the surface. I go through the mechanics of living. I do enjoy the company of friends and the various activities that keep me challenged and engaged. But underneath it all, the sadness remains.. Lately I've started thinking about happiness and what that means. Quite amazingly, there are quite a few definitions of happiness. One especially struck a cord with my own philosophy and that of the way you've lived your life. Here’s a toast to life, the way it should be lived… And I will do my best to live every second like it was my last one…
“Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn! Look to this Day! For it is Life, the very Life of Life. In its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your Existence. The Bliss of Growth, The Glory of Action, The Splendor of Beauty; For Yesterday is but a Dream, And To-morrow is only a Vision; But To-day well lived makes Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness, And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope. Look well therefore to this Day! Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!”
................... Kalidasa
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